into pieces
by Lossie
Summary: "Sakura had always been extremely talented with genjutsu." Spoilers for chapter 693!


**A/N**: It wrote itself. I've read the chapter and bam, two hours later here it is. I blame my poor shipping heart, Mr Kishimoto and tumblr. It's all their fault!  
>Anyway, this story contains spoilers for chapter 693 and there's a lot of sasusaku going on. You've been warned ;)<br>Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>INTO PIECES<strong>  
>"<em>So we're bound to linger on<br>We drink the fatal drop  
>Then love until we bleed<br>Then fall apart in parts_"  
>Lykke Li, "Until we bleed"<p>

* * *

><p>Sakura had always been extremely talented with genjutsu. He had complemented her once on that ability, a long time ago, because even he found it to be truly impressive. It probably came down to her near-perfect chakra control or she was simply that exceptional. He never took the time to ask her about it, nor did he ever ask her to train with him to see just how far this ability of hers went. He always did have a bad habit of underestimating her.<p>

Maybe if he didn't, it would never have come to this.

He hated parallels and yet his life seemed to be overflowing with them. It was a sick joke that had stopped being funny a long time ago. Sometimes he wondered if maybe it was fate's way of trying to set him back on the right path. He was being given a chance to almost do things over or to, at very least, respond differently to situations that were sickeningly similar to the ones he had already lived through.

He had bid farewell to his brother two times, instead of one.

He had heard Sakura's confession and he had responded to it two times as well.

Now he was fighting with Naruto in the Valley of the End for the second time and the fight, so similar to last one, was making his resolve slip bit by bit with every passing second.

He was just so exhausted.

Revenge was a double edged sword and it cut him just as deep as it cut his opponents. Both his skin and soul were maps of scars that this seemingly never ending circle of hate was leaving in its wake. It was destroying him from the inside out. Truth be told, at this point, he wasn't even sure if he actually wanted to win. He wasn't sure if he cared either.

At first they were fierce, but as time went by, it became quite obvious that neither of them was truly invested in that fight. They still exchanged blows, through Naruto was more on the defensive than offensive. He didn't try to stop Sasuke from venting his anger with the world at him. To Sasuke's eternal astonishment, Naruto had simply accepted it. He didn't say a word the entire time and it was driving the Uchiha crazy. Naruto was supposed to be all talk and no brawl, but he was behaving not like himself and it bothered Sasuke. He wanted to hear the reasons once again – he wanted to hear the whys and the what-ifs, because maybe then he would be finally able to stop this madness within him from unfolding even further. He was getting angry with the silence. He had lived with it and in it for so long that the more of it he got, the worse he felt.

The chirping of the thousand birds was loud in his ears when he lunged for the final strike. The Rasengan was bathing the right side of Naruto's face in pale blue light. He looked both angry and resigned, but above else, he looked weary – as if the world was in on some cruel joke and he was an unwilling victim of its sick humour.

Sasuke didn't feel like laughing either.

"Stop it!"

His heart almost stopped at the familiar voice. He looked to his right and Sakura was indeed there, running at high speed to, once again, stand between them.

She had always been extremely talented with genjutsu.

His life was full of parallels.

It was only fitting.

He could hear someone yelled to her to go away. The glow the Rasengan was dying down slowly, but surely, as the chakra that has been used to created was called back.

He knew that Naruto would be on time.

The chirping in his ears grew louder and he knew he would be not.

Chidori was an elemental ninjutsu and the lightning was as wild as fire in its need to destroy. Once there, it was close to impossible to sent it away. He had managed to do it only a handful of times and certainly not in the heat of battle.

He knew he was going to hit her.

As the realization sank in, he couldn't help but think that it was all so unfair, even if fairness never had much to do with his life.

When they were close enough, he managed to push her away a few inches. Just a little to the side, so his hand wouldn't go through her chest. There was a flash of memory in his mind of a time when he had tried to do so on purpose – when he was so lost in his craving for vengeance that he had wanted to stop her heart with his own hands.

The technique still connected with her body.

It caught onto her shoulder and Sasuke could only observe in horror as she shook violently in the aftermath. Her muscles contracted, making her limbs move on their own. Her mouth and eyes were wide open, and she was screaming his name, and she was looking at him, but there was no hate in neither her gaze nor her voice. She looked like Naruto did only a moment before – she had the exact same expression of resignation and weariness carved deeply into her face.

She wasn't crying though. She always cried at moments like this, but maybe, with the sense of resignation, calmness and acceptance came as well, and Sasuke suddenly saw a face of someone else in place of hers.

He wanted to scream too.

When it was finally over, after what felt like years, he easily caught her still slightly trembling body before it had a chance to hit the water. He sprinted to the patch of land to his left when he had stood over Naruto's unconscious body all those years ago. He gently laid her down on the ground and then let his fingers skim over her wrist. His eyes widened when he couldn't feel the familiar hum of blood pulsing through the veins. His hands were shaking as he moved them to her neck.

"No," he whispered. "No. No. No, no, nononono!"

There was no pulse. There was no life left in that small, fragile body of hers, and he couldn't believe it.

He vaguely registered that Naruto kneeled on her other side. He was saying something, but Sasuke was too distracted to pay him any mind.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. He had put her into a genjutsu on purpose and he had used one of the strongest to make sure she wouldn't under any circumstances be able to wake up from it on her own. He didn't want her to get in-between him and Naruto, because he wanted her to live. She had dreams and wishes, and had so much life in her that when he had realized back in the clearing that she would follow them, his body reacted on instinct. There was no thought process involved in it whatsoever. Like during that damned mission when he had almost died protecting Naruto. Even after years of hurtful words and unspeakable actions, he still cared and he couldn't stop caring, no matter how much he wanted to.

He didn't deserve their care and he certainly never deserved Sakura's love, but it didn't mean that he was unaffected by both.

Laying his head on Sakura's stomach, he let himself go. His body was shaking with every breath he took. He was sobbing, but there were no sounds and no tears to accompany his anguish.

He had killed two people he loved.

He had killed them and there was no way he would be able to live with himself if Sakura didn't make it by some miracle.

Her smile was warm. She had dimples and they were rather charming. Her eyes seemed to glow every time she was happy, even when she wasn't smiling. No matter how much he didn't want to remember, those little things would always be there, in the back of his mind. The thought that he wouldn't be able to see her smile ever again was terrifying.

"_Let her live_," he begged in his heart of hearts to whoever was willing to listen. "_Take me, but let her live. I'll do anything. Just let her live!_"

Minutes went by. Eventually he was able to calm himself, through he didn't move away from his spot. He heard Naruto mutter that he was going to fetch Kakashi. He was about to respond when he felt movement. Freezing completely, he waited with bated breath.

And it happened again.

"You're heavy," he heard a whisper. Sitting up in an instant, he watched as Sakura's eyes slowly fluttered open. She blinked a few times and then smiled.

"Sasuke-kun."

He felt something in him break.

"Sakura."

There was a lot of things that he wanted to say. So many words were crumbling and twisting inside his head that her name was the only one that could actually leave his lips and make some semblance of sense.

They stared at each other.

Naruto was crying somewhere in the background.

And they were just staring at each other.

Sakura sat up, her eyes still locked with his. She moved slowly closer, as if afraid that he would bolt like a frightened animal if she dared to do so any faster. He observed her carefully and when she was finally within arm's length, he fought back the urge to flinch. Her hand came up and after a brief moment of hesitation in settled on his cheek. Her palm was warm and her fingertips were rough with calluses. It suited her well, he thought, as he turned his head a little and kissed the inside of her wrist. She jumped, her eyes wide in obvious shock, but she didn't withdrew it.

They stayed like this for a long time. Naruto finally went to get Kakashi, right after expressing his relief that Sakura was okay after all.

There was a long way ahead of them. Sasuke was still exhausted and broken into tiny little pieces, and he still hated parallels, but Sakura loved him and it mattered.

And so maybe, after all these years, he would finally have a chance to invite Sakura to train with him.


End file.
